A + F = C

It seems the checking of the planner and homework each night is not sufficient. STILL. The child in question is in SEVENTH GRADE. IE: old enough to get his head out of his bum and keep up with his homework. And yet, I just received an email from his English teacher saying he's been handing in his homework late and it's effecting his grade.

The whole reason the husband and I have become the homework natzis is because he managed to bring his grade from an A in math last year to a C. Yes, apparently when you fail to pass in your homework, you fail that part of your grade. A's on tests + F's on homework = C on your report card. This also kept him out of honors math this year. Can you say crazy making?

Looks like it might be time to take away the brand new cell phone he got last night.

Is This What They Call A Blog?

Wow! Look what I just found here. A blog. My blog. Gee, I'd kind of forgotten I had one. Whoops.

I actually had a dream last night that I blogged for the first time in a millennium. I'm guessing that's what spurred this post. And now you're wondering what this post is actually about. Ha! As if there is any topic beyond "LOOK, I'm back! Maybe. If I don't forget all about this place again."

In other news, I'm sure you've all realized... school has started again. YAY school! The children are busy for many hours a day. They are no longer left to their own devices with periodic check in's from responsible adults. They are however, still trying to kill each other most days. Also, the youngest has apparently aged enough to no longer be kept safe from the oldest's wrath. Or maybe he's just more annoying. Most likely both. The older 2 are at school from 7am - 5:30pm (when I can now pick them up). Soccer is wearing them out - oh how I love soccer. And for the first time pretty much ever, I'm paying for regular child care three days a week. And it is so worth it.

I've also received a promotion. Better hours! (7:30-4) More to do! Doesn't make me want to jab a pen in my eye rather than work! (Those who follow me on twitter may remember that lovely day.) It's in the same office as before. I did not have to apply or interview because they just offered it (and a small raise) up on a platter. YAY! And I am repaying them by blogging while at work. I ROCK!

In other updating type news... the husband was the most awsomest ever during meeting about child with "issues". Said son is now in therapy, getting extra help at school and has a teacher who is all about helping kids succeed. There may be medication in another month or two but for now we're trying other things. I can't tell you the relief and joy this gives me. Thank you Universe!

Personally, I ditched my therapist again but am still taking the Zoloft. Feeling good and keeping it together - most of the time - except when having to get a small child out the door by 6:40am and he refuses to MOVE. And also complains if I leave him for his dad to take to sitter's. CAN NOT WIN. Also, pre-bedtime is rough. I'm tired and the kids are tired and they don't want to have me check their homework or get ready for bed. Still, things are going well. Until I get home tonight and it all falls apart because I just jinxed myself with the parenting Gods.

*Note to Parenting Gods: Please be gentle. I'm so sorry I dared to mention what I mentioned. You still rule the Parenting Universe.

Now I must really get back to work.

Puuuufffffffff...

Excuse me as I blow the dust off this place. WOW. It's amazing how a class and a full schedule can keep a woman busy. Also, it's amazing how once you stop writing you have no ability to put coherent thoughts about life together again. Or maybe that's just me. I am doomed. And since you are reading this you are too. This is a warning.

Couple of things I've noticed lately:

• I still need lots of therapy.
• I pink puffy heart Zoloft.
• My two older children are freakishly tan. They are also a big pain about putting on sunscreen but do it occasionally (re: when I nag them to death).
• This working full time while trying to coordinate 4 children's summer schedules is kicking my ass. It is HARD. Or maybe I'm just a big whimp. Whatever.
• Today's schedule:
• 9-12 Oldest 2 soccer camp
• 9-12 youngest 2 need childcare
• 1-3 3rd drama camp
• 1-4 2nd & 4th golf camp
• 6-7:30 3rd soccer (our snack night)
• 6 - oldest soccer game
• Today is less busy than yesterday. Yes, I said LESS.
• Also must note, husband has been out of town. He's coming back tonight. All hail a helper at bedtime and soccer runs.
• It has been unbearably hot and humid here. The air is trying to drown me.
• I have PMS.
• Do I need to mention I've been extremely cranky the last couple of days?
• Oh, my car has no AC and the husband has the new vehicle.
• Work is unbearably dull.
• I'm taking a 1/2 day tomorrow.
• So we can take one of the kids to a psychologist. For depression. And possibly ADD. Fabulous.
• I just found out I can't have September 3rd off. It's the day before school starts AND the 2nd's birthday. I have a tradition of taking the kids out to breakfast and a whole day of fun the day before school starts. I'd like to plan an alternate celebration but I'm not sure what to do. Any suggestions? And since I asked for the day off I can't call in sick. Frack!
• I do not get enough vacation days.

Update:

Okay, first, I'm on Zoloft now. Things are so much better. So, so much better.

Things have also been insane. Between work and baseball and soccer and lacrosse. All I do is get up, get the kids ready for school, go to work, take children to sport, find rides for people, watch some sporting event, go home, refeed children and put them to bed. By then it's around 9:30-10:30 and I read for approximately 3 minutes before falling asleep. Rinse, repeat.

Plus, the last 3 weeks I was taking an intensive ASL (American Sign Language) course. It was so much fun. My classmates were fabulous, the teachers rocked. I'm sad it's over. But it was one more thing on my plate.

Good news? Today is the last day of school.

Bad news? Three weeks where I have no childcare in place and no camps or activities over the summer.

Good news? Lacrosse and 2 baseball leagues are done for the season.

Bad News? 2 Travel soccer leagues and 1 baseball league is still going. PLUS, 2 local soccer leagues start Monday.

Good news? Children will have time to do chores.

Bad News? Looks like one of the kids needs therapy for depression. And medication (depression & ADD).

Good news? Husband and I have been getting along really well. (Meds help immensely)

Bad news? He is making a difficult situation (re: child in therapy & meds) worse. He ALWAYS makes the most difficult situations worse and it's pissing me off.

Good news? Getting help for my depression.

Bad news? Have just realized my husband has no understanding of depression. NONE. And won't listen to what I have to say about it.

Looks like it's turned into a list. Sorry. Just so much going on and my brain is overwhelmed.

Dinner Conversation

Things my 13 year old said to me this morning while I took him step-by-step through the process of preparing dinner:

13: Do I have to touch the raw chicken with my hands?

Me: No, it will leap into the pot all by itself. You're just there to watch.

13: Do I put the chicken IN the crockpot?

Me: No, place it AROUND the pot. It cooks better that way.

This may have made my day.

(Sorry about the cross-posting for those of you who may have my other blog in your feed. Had to post it there for the family.)

Guilt, Guilt, Guilt

About once a week my mother sends me an e-mail telling me some tidbit about how my youngest cried that morning after I dropped him off. Either he was up to late and was tired or, like today, he wanted to have breakfast with me but didn’t. In just about every case it is because he did not do what he needed to for the task to be accomplished. Of course he never tells her that part. In every instance it is somehow my fault. For example, last night he said he wanted to get up and have breakfast with me this morning. I woke him up at the designated time, he refused to rise, when he finally did emerge from his bed he cried because I was done eating and had even showered. My husband and I tried to wake him approximately 8,724 times.

But the absolute best part of these missives my mother sends me is how she ends each one. “Your children miss you.”

Why thank you for that mom. It is a lovely way to start my day. Crying at my keyboard in the office is a fabulous way to greet students and coworkers.

I have told her how I miss them since going back to work full-time in January. I’ve told her how I’ve been spending MORE time with them. I’ve told her about the things I’ve tried to do to make the time together better (like breakfast with them).

She always assures me she’s not criticizing. She tells me I can’t quit my job, the children will adapt, etc, etc. So why, WHY must she lay on the guilt?

Friday Five

1. I called in sick yesterday. And I was sick. Just not the not able to get out of bed kind. That is actually the only kind of sick that has actually caused me to miss work before yesterday. Needless to say, the children did not understand this sick. They kept saying I wasn't. I was kind of feeling like I wasn't really sick. I mean I was up walking around. I even did a couple loads of laundry and helped the youngest complete his homework. I drove myself to the doctor's. Clearly I couldn't be that sick. But really, I was. I have serious muscle fatigue, regular old fatigue and my God I'm so frigging tired. But I did not take a nap. I actually ran out of time. Still, it was a leisurely kind of day where I did things but at a much slower pace than I'm use to.
   
   
2. The hypochondriac that I am went back to the doctor (as I mentioned above). My husband actually had to make the appointment because at the time it was determined (by him) that I really needed to follow up all those negative test results, I was too damn tired and overwhelmed to even make the phone call on Wednesday. It's sad really. I'm completely pathetic. So I went and envisioned an appointment filled with rolled eyes and pats on the head. I should make it clear here that my fine physician has never treated me that way before. But honestly, I was starting to treat myself that way and I figured if I'm sick of me being sick but not really sick with all normal tests then certainly everyone else thinks I'm a fraud.
   
   
3. You see where this is going. He totally validated my feelings. He totally believed something is wrong. He ordered a gallon of blood to be drawn and yet more x-rays and... well, I really don't want to actually think about the other thing he ordered *cough* colonoscopy *cough*. I spent my morning on a journey of needles and nakedness and no, none of it was fun in the way nakedness should be fun. The last thing on the list is not for a couple of weeks so all ended well.
   
   
4. The day got decidedly better after that. I got to have lunch with a friend (yes, I should have been napping) and her darling daughter. With cute! striped! purple! tights. Tights! I love tights! And none of the boys will agree to cute striped tights. Odd, I know.
   
   After paying bills, blech, I went with the 3 younger boys to their art class. It's a new place right down the street and honestly? It makes me want to quit my job and just hang out there. It is a wonderfully warm and inviting space designed to unleash your creativity. The owner has tables and chairs set up in front of the big front window for parents to hang at and even free wifi (which would be great if I owned a laptop). As it was, I knit and listened to their chatter. Maybe I'm a horrible person to admit this but I love to listen to my kids' trains of thought. They are so insightful and creative and wonderful. The bad part? I don't feel the same way about other people's kids. I know. Terrible. I'm really sorry. I'm sure YOUR kids are just as fabulous as mine, I just haven't met them.
   
   
5. Another way one of my children has amazed me - seriously knocked my socks off amazed me - is by writing music. Let me give you a bit of background. I have been accused of being tone deaf. I enjoy music but it's like this mysterious entity to me. I have no ear for languages either. In fact, I grew up in Massachusetts and no one can figure out why I don't have an accent. It may be because I have no audio competency. Yes, it's totally a real thing. No, I did not just make that up. Ok, maybe I did. Anyway, somehow, even with having me for a mother, my NINE year old is learning three instruments, can read music, and is WRITING HIS OWN. It's the furthest thing from my comprehension. And it ROCKS!
   
   Am I the only who thinks this is amazing?
   

Love Breaks Your Heart

I was wrong about the IEP testing yesterday. It was a meeting to say, “Yes, we want there to be testing.” And “Yes, the school thinks there needs to be testing.” So now we wait for information from the school which we will sign and send back so they can put him on the schedule for testing. Phrases like, “I work in the summer,” were thrown around. I hate the snail-like speed of these things. Especially considering the heartbreaking tale that was painted of a child that just wants to do well and can’t. The absolute worst is the new thing he does of crying and saying he can’t because he is stupid. No matter how much I try to explain how smart he is and how we all learn differently and how his teachers tell us he is smart, he will not believe.

And he is smart child according to the teachers. Apparently they feel you can have a bad day and do poorly on a test even if you know the material but you can’t ace it by accident. So his high scores combined with his plunging low scores make his grades look similar to a saw blade. They tell us this means he’s smart but struggling with some unseen force that keeps him from focusing or processing or, most likely, a combination of ADD and some as yet unidentified learning disorder. Fun stuff.

I will admit that the fact this is finally getting looked at makes me happy. The fact his reading has improved so much that at nine he can read and comprehend and verbalize facts and concepts makes me thrilled. A year and a half ago I wasn’t sure when or if that would happen. Even in math he seems to understand the concepts but he doesn’t know his math facts so his grades are abysmal.

As frustrating a child as this one is, and he is frustrating and high maintenance and extremely exhausting, he breaks my heart when he is so clearly trying and he just can’t do something. I suppose this is what they call love.

How's Your Throat Feeling?

Cursingmama guessed it! I was testing the whole post from e-mail thing. I had forgotten that was an option and decided it may help increase my posting now that I’m all anonymous and all. So I had to test it out.

Just as I realized it worked things got away from me again a between a full activity schedule and a child down with strep. But a new week! A new chance to post!

And then I got a call from the school nurse. My mother was out of town (1^st line of defense), husband was working on a big project (2^nd line of defense), so I was called up to bat. I got to work at 8am and left at 9:30. Picked up the child, took him directly to the doctors and got back a negative on the rapid strep. Stopped to buy throat soothing foods and went home. Yay! All those extra hours just waiting to be filled. And they were. They were filled with calls and visits to and from the plumber, playing nursemaid to a sick 9 y/o, balancing the checkbook (left over chore from the weekend), cooking a delicious dinner and driving a couple kids to Hebrew.

May I ask why, the one day the dinner is in the crockpot and you have things basically under control – why is THAT the day you get to go home early? It is never the day you forgot your cell phone at home and have no idea what you’re making for dinner (today).

Lest you think I’m complaining, I shall say, the situation allowed me to call the plumber in a timely manner and he even stopped by less than 2 hours after I called. This resulted in TWO working toilets in our house vs. yesterday morning when I left and only one was working. BIG! HUGE! BONUS! Living with one toilet and six people is just not an option.

As for posting today, I keep having this dream of doing a “real” post. You know the kind. The ones that don’t just talk about the day but have a beginning, middle and end and some underlying theme to tie it all up pretty – yeah, I think I forgot how to do those. Or maybe, I never really knew how in the first place.

In other news, or rather to continue my slice of life posting, the doctor’s office just called. The culture came back positive. The child I sent to school this morning because he didn’t have a fever and the rapid test came back negative, that child DOES have strep. He gets out of school 20 minutes after the result came in. That doesn’t even make it worth it to leave work again and pick him up since he will be home before I am. I am one of those parents you all hate. My kid is currently the one spreading strep to one and all. Sorry.

The most fabulous part of all of this – aside from the fact that the doctor’s office won’t prescribe the remaining 4 of us antibiotics right now instead of one at a time as the rapid streps come back negative but then the next day the cultures come back positive (2 out of 2! Whoot!) in the coming weeks – is, wait, what? Did you forget what I was saying? That may have been the longest aside ever.

Where was I? Oh, the most fabulous part is that the currently ill child has IEP testing tomorrow. My husband and I both took a half day off because they want us to be there to find out what the hell is going on with him academically/learning-wise. And now he has strep. I have decreed he will have been on the medication long enough to go anyway. But, not really. I don’t want to have to reschedule it though because you need to coordinate approximately 50 people (or maybe 6) PLUS the parents to do the testing and it may be some time in May 2010 before that happens again. I say the show must go on. The fact he’s not 100% health wise will just make it more likely he’ll be having a “bad” day. The kind of day he needs to have during the testing. If he has a “good” day, they will not be able to assess his difficulties because he won’t be having any. So maybe this is a good thing. Who knows? Justification baby! It’s where it’s at.

Is that an itch in my throat?

Bad Time of Year

This is definitely a bad time of year to start a new blog.

Reason #1: End of/Beginning of Month: My busiest time at work.

Reason #2: Sports. Sports. And even more sports. Baseball and lacrosse are very time consuming. And no, I don't play any sports except the sport of reading. My boys play. All of them. All 4 of them.

Reason #3: The weather. It is getting nicer out - finally! - and I would rather spend a bit of time outside than in on the computer. Or maybe not. But I do HAVE to spend more time outside tending to things. Things like the children. And eventually I will have to tend to the yard. The yard that currently looks like we live in an abandoned building. I hate yard work and gardening. Someone save me!

Reason #4: Since I'm going to try to keep this blog anonymous, I can't blog at night while the family is around. It will be interesting to see if I can pull it off.

There it is. A total cliche of the Springtime blog of someone with offspring.